September 21, 1994

Carter Products
Attention: Consumer Affairs Division of Carter-Wallace, Inc.

Dear Sirs:

I had a very unfortunate experience with Trojan-Enz condoms recently that I must share with you.

Approximately one year ago, I purchased one of your packages, which I opened for the first time just last week (please, I know my sex life ain't the greatest, OK?) I was with a very special girl named Luci. After telling Luci how much I loved her, she consented to having intercourse, but only if I used one of your Trojan-Enz condoms.

Just as I was about to put it on, Luci asked me to check the product's expiration date. I told her not to be silly, as this was a rubber, not a pack of cupcakes. She became agitated and demanded that I find out the date before proceeding further.

I then got out of bed and turned on the light, only to discover the expiration date was nowhere to be found. I did notice a manufacturing date, but Luci seemed to grow even more alarmed when I told her July 9, 1993, and she quickly calculated that the condoms were now more than a year old. I became angry, we exchanged harsh words, and Luci stormed out of my apartment, threatening never to return.

Thanks a lot, guys. Not only did I not get lucky, but I'm afraid I lost Luci in the process. I do not wish to go through this again and demand to know if my remaining supply is still good. I'm sure I'm not the only man out there who has suffered in this fashion and I suggest you take action at once by providing the public with this critical information.

I think you owe me a personal apology as well.

Sincerely,

Wilber Winkle
5764 Stevens Forest Road #606
Columbia, MD 21045